Whats on my mind RIGHT NOW! (uncut)

1. i need to save about 50$ to get something for mom, my neice, heather, brooklyne and amber for christmas.
2. i have a 79$ cell phone payment due on the 19th..
3. i have a 175$ car insurence payment on the 1st of january
4. and i still have to take out half of my pay check for my car payment of 50$ weekly

my name as you may know is Coty Michelle Ratliff, im 18 and i was born on Valentines day my whole life as been a question and i have yet to find the anser..i doubt i ever will. i live with my 60 year old mom and we both just recently found out that she has advancing demeniam a form of alstimers disease. we both recently moved to maceo becuase we had to kick my step dad out due to his gabbeling addiction. we have one car, the one i pay for and a set income base of 650 a month for my moms disability. i work 6 days a week and still only make about 150 a week. i dont pay for a car and cell phone becuase it luxury i pay becuase i have to. im 18 and feel 35. every day i worry about my mom and everyday im never there to help her becuase im either at work or school. i dont have a boyfriend like other kids becuase i simply dont have the time. the friends i do have work with me. our trailer we moved into is not insulated and im scared to see the electric bill for this month becuase i know we cant pay. i dont know what to do anymore. im sinking.

Gangsta Christmas

Santa?

When i was little my mom continued to try to make me believe in santa, she would go so far as to writing "from Santa" on some of the gifts. what she didnt know was the my older brother Chance had already giving me the low down on Mr Clause. what i did wonder was what was the first christmas like that intriduced Santa? did all the parents in the naighborhhood have a meeting in the middle of the night and say "ok so my kids are asking me where all these awesome presents come from, what should i tell them" "well saying its from us is just to saine lets say its from...some fat guy that lives in the north pole, wears a red suit and drives around in a slay with flying deer.. sounds good?"