Health care reform looked like sausage being made? I wish. This was more like watching beetle larvae, snail guts, lizard tripe and cephalopod eyeballs mixed in with sour cream. – Will Durst, San Francisco
Sandra Bullock’s husband is undergoing psychological treatment for infidelity. But given that the other woman’s got more tattoos on her body than a wall of subway graffiti, he nearly went crazy during the Rorschach. – Tulla Brendingulo
Larry King was spotted driving around L.A. in his convertible with the rapper Snoop Dogg in the passenger’s seat. Snoop was being a good sport about it, but he just couldn’t sync his legs with Larry’s, and his “yabba-dabba-doo” was pathetic. – Bill Williams
The center Zydrunas Ilgauskas has signed with the Cleveland Cavaliers. He had to make a tough choice; he could either get a $100,000 signing bonus or have all of the letters in his name sewn on his jersey. – Jerry Perisho, Whittier, Calif.
A Virginia physician has been arrested on suspicion of selling steroids to the Washington Nationals. These steroids obviously didn’t work. — Alex Schubert, Cincinnati
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